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Chapter I The Game of Life: Terms of the Enlightened Beings.

"What's in a name?"

Welcome to the Great Glossary of the Enlightened Realms. The old fool in temple may believe he hears the voices of the gods but really he hears us, the players.
What is kept in this tome are all the terms and phrases which are commonly used by us at Shadow Realms and more recently other clubs from around the world to usually describe bad roleplaying, cheating etc.
The reason is similar to why the Eskimos have over a hundred words for snow, for when you're up to your arse in something you find a lot of names to call it.

Terms A to I (To Terms J to P) (To Terms Q to Z)

A.R.P (Anorack Role Playing): Looking down on newbies and others because they dont Act/Dress "correctly".
i.e " This is an 11th century high fantasy system, you shouldn't use a 12th century broad sword". syn. Costume Nazi

Beatings: n. The act of beating an opponent or opponents with ease. "I gave those bandits serious beatings".

Bindweed: A linear plot device ensuring that no one can mess up the plot. "My character's a Kagonesti, they can pass through bindweed to get around the Deathknight. [pause] What do you mean it's magic bindweed ". syn. cheese, plot, plotdoor

Bitch Disher: A person (not necessarily a character) who is very apt at landing gratuitous smackdown to monsters or players regardless of their role. Usually not sated until some serious kickings have been dished out. "Do you dish?". syn. beatings, crim, gross, philmonster.

Blag: n. 1) To thieve or steal. "Let's blag Bob the Knights sword and then see how hard he is".
2) To trick or fool. 'Yeah I blagged Toby Kender into buying that sword off me by claiming it was magic." syn. blaggard.

Blaggard: v. 1) A thief or unseemly person. Used to describe someone who blags. syn. dodgy
2) Black guards, (black watch guards - dellgate militia) strange but true in history.

Cheese: n. 1) Any sequence of in-game events that happen because of plot rather than the players actions."Bob the Knight isn't dead after getting eaten by that Forest Troll, he got reincarnated by his Goddess because they need him for a storyline, what a load ofcheese". syn. flange, plottage, plot.
2) Any sequence of in-game events that strike the speaker as bad gaming. "You can't recognise me by my boots, that's cheese!"

Choad: n. Any all-around bad role-player or person to whom one would not wish to talk to for any great length of time. syn. rules nazi, costume nazi, power-player.

Chword: n.(From Choad + Sword) Any weapon, really, that has been charged with so many enchantments that one needs a PhD in abstract mathematics to keep track of the amounts and types of damage done with a single strike.
"Twennythrefimagicpoisinknockdownoarmer? Work it out! I can't even say what that chword doing! I'll just fall over right?"

Combat Monster: Someone who plays the hack slash type of hero/monster, wears lots of armour, and makes it so their character does the maximum amount of damage possible. Usually only capable of grunting their own name. Disliked by Real Roleplayers ."What? Bob the Knight has bought strength a tenth time, and he expects me to believe he isn't a combat monster".

Costume Nazi: 1) Those who look down on the students, banning them from wearing unperiod type costumes, as they can afford nice ones. Usually wankers.
2) Persons who harrass those with inferior costume, neglecting to remember that LRP is a hobby, and not everyone is as sad as them.

Crim: To single handedly waste an entire party of monsters."Bloody hell he's crimmed the lot of them!". syn. mosh, job.

Dodgy: A character perceived to be of a dubious alignment, nature or profession."I wouldn't trust that Varn, he's well dodgy". syn. blaggard

Eversword: (n) A weapon that has gone for more than a couple years without breaking. Usually made of rattan rather than PVC.

Faffing: To waste time by indecision. Largely responsible for getting up to the site late. "Will you stop faffing and drive the bloody car damnit". syn. Time faff

Flange: When something unexpected happens and somebody quickly improvises a way to get it back on the plot whether badly or not.
"What!! They killed the Nun with all the information. Er... Okay her ghost turns up and tells them that the only way to kill the demon is with a magical lantern." syn. cheese, plot, plottage

Freeform roleplay: Unorganized, but fun ;o)

Froth: To forcefully moan or complain about a perceived injustice."Mark's still frothing about the monster crew putting in an extra encounter". syn frother

Frother: A person who goes OTT with roleplay and doesn't live in the real world.

Froth Monster: Marginally less scary than a Philmonster, but usually involves a stupidly powered up creature, who by it's own admission is all powerful and refuses to die no matter what, until it has creamed at least three quarters of the party. Usually has hits N/A despite what is written on the brief. Believed to be competing against the Phil monster.
"One Drow up ahead, two scimitars and probably all powerful."
"Is it Mark?"
"Oh shit it's a froth monster, run!" syn. Phil Monster, Plot Monster

Gross: 1) Any character or monster(s) that are extremely powerful."Do you reckon we've wiped out the party, those Undead were gross".
2) An encounter or event that causes silly amounts of damage to the player party.

Imp: 1) a character who is always acting like he has more power than he really does."Oh, O'wain the dwarrow just acts dangerous, he's really just an imp."
2) A bad referee.

In-character: a. (abbrev. IC) 1) Referring to actions undertaken that happen in the fictional world of gaming rather than in the real world. Useful for getting out of trouble.
"I called you a tosser in-character, don't hit me I wasn't talking about you personally."; syn. Out of character

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Shadow Realms LRP 2000