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Quad Squad: Relating to the damage level of an overly powerful group of adventurers (usually combat monsters) who seem to kill everything before any of the other players get a chance to do anything. "The adventure on Sunday was crap because everytime you got to an encounter the quad squad had already wasted everyone". syn. combat monster
Real Roleplayers: A faction of roleplayers who fail to separate their characters from reality. Each character they create is like a Stanislavskian actor's and they probably have sat down and thought out their character's past life, family tree and what they had for breakfast each day since they were two. They often forget that LRP is a hobby and can easily slip into being a Costume Nazi."What's my motivation?". cf. combat monster
Ref Bolt: An all powerful spell designed to eliminate annoying pathetic players who take up too much of the Ref's time with questions like, "How many hit's did that last monster have? An orc shouldn't have that many hits, I should know Bolox bolox....".
Rule Nazi: A sad case who believes that all rules must be followed
to the letter and does their best to enforce them at all times regardless
of the impact it has on the game.
"Hold on, time out, time out, Vampires only have 13 spell points and you've cast a (Whatever list of spells the Rules Nazi has been sad enough to count) which makes it fourteen points. So that wouldn't have happened. [Pause, big whacking sound and breaking of cartilage] Arghhhhhh pull your blows."
Shop: To mug or steal from some one. "Anyone want to go shopping?."
Slap Bangin': The phrase used to describe the sound you hear coming out of the woods when someone isn't pulling blows. "Damn there's some real Slap-Bangin goin on in them thar woods. Oh dear!".
Slaycandy: Usually a sword but generally some kind of weapon that can do the sort of damage that a greasy mullet can do to your love life. Mostly used to aid the flaggin ego of shite players who are sick of getting a kicking and need a large frothy weapon to make themselves feel better or ridiculous weapon needed to destroy a Frothmonster "That's a nice piece of slay candy it'll keep the combat monsters happy for hours" syn. Choard
Slim Shady: 1) A Character that's not quite what they seem - usually quite evil inherently but tell the party other wise - definately one to watch."I tell you Dan Cleric is not what he seems, that dude is a Slim Shady".
Splat stats: The vital statistics of combat monkeys."Bob the Well-Hard has toughness 16 times and strength 12 times." syn. Combat Monster, Tank, Point Muncher, Quad Squad.
Spooky Drow: A person attempting to play the stereotypical mysterious and evil Dark Elf but ending up appearing a twat. Generally pronounced in a heavy Translvanian accent and in he fashion of the Count from Sesame Street ."One spooky drow ah ah ah, two spooky drow etc." syn. Minghy
Stuntcandy: A situation, encounter or object that specifically lends itself to stunt crew antics (see stunt crew)."Dude this sword of Kung Fu death is total stuntcandy". syn stunt crew.
Stunt Crew: A small group of monsters who are quite happy to throw themselves over obstacles, off buildings and generally get injured for the sake of entertaining the player party by producing acrobatic dying scenes.
Tank: A player packing so much armour you could accidentally hit them with your truck and they wouldn't notice. A character who whether intentionally or not has ridiculous amounts of protection. " Looks like a band of Ogres, lets wait until the tanks arrive".
Time Faff: Roleplay that goes on without actually getting anywhere, usually so the slow monster crew can set up.
Unstoppable Plot Monster: n. A monster written into the adventure who is either related to the campaign or required in a later encounter. Because of plot this character cannot be killed until a given time. " We've hit that priest with everything we've got and he's still standing. It's only encounter four, he must be another unstoppable plot monster, so lets piss off and have lunch instead". syn. plot, plottage, cheese
Use: n. Term meant inversly;"Bob was a complete bunch of USE back there, clutching his head in his hands and screaming like a girl when the kobold attacked him !!" To be un-useful/crap. Vb;'Useful', Pl; bunch of Use. Derived from old Broadsword Slang.
Weasel Bolt: n. An ability of power used when the character does not have that ability or power(usually a ridiculous spell). The Bolt only has any effect if the victim is gullible enough to believe the player in question, or the proximity of a referee to club the Weasel Bolter. Often known as bullshitting."You can't summon up a demon, weasel bolt!".
© Shadow Realms LRP 2000