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Chapter II Voices of the Enlightened:
Quotes of the Gods.

Long has the Old Man sat listening to the silence, but silence is just another sound. When finally he pierced the Veil voices from a far off place drifted through his consciousness. These however are not the voices of gods or any superior being, but comments of stupidity, embarrassment or pure drivel that have been uttered at Shadow Realms.

The challenge for any of you Shadow Realms guys reading, is can you fit the dumb ass comment to the dumb ass? If you can email me with it, I'll buy you a pint.


Quotes

  • During a discussion on power playing one individual came up with this jewel when comparing himself to another......

    "I'm a power player but at least people like me."


  • When playing dodgy characters it's always a good idea to keep your identity secret. However this double bluff tactic is not recommended (especially when uttered in character),

    "I'm a Demonologist but you don't know that".


  • A very observant observation made after battering a prostrate priest over the head with a mace,

    "If that was real you'd be dead"


  • Though probably complete garbage to you lot, this mercilessly slew an entire monster crew after the players were assaulted by what have been dubbed the infamous Electric Monkey Men.
    (Cue comedy dancing),

    "I want to be a monkey, a monkey monkey monkey."


  • The continous ranting of an indecisive player, who must have believed that other people gave a toss what same ability he bought for the third time,

    "Strength or dex, strength or dex"


  • Monsters are often told that if they have a problem with a player then they should deal with it through the ref, however this just goes to prove that monster justice is by no means dead,

    "I havn't started on him yet but next encounter he's having some."


  • Joining the peachy quote list comes this little number. After having his head pounded in by another player for a double cross a little OOC bargain was shamefully attempted.

    "Can we just say my arm came off?"


  • Things get a little physical down here, we like to mix it up a bit and everyone says they don't mind getting leapt on. However it's not always a good measure to go by,

    "I don't mind you jumping on me right, but do it again and I'll tear your f*cking head off."


  • A terrible punishment indeed befalls a character who's heart has been ripped out and soul sent to be tortured by a rather pissed Demon Prince, not that you become a super hard npc or anything ooooh nooo! Punish Me! Please!

    "My punishment is to be a demon. I have to kill my friends."


  • After an accusation of powerplaying, surely such a justification would convince the most bias,

    "Rowan was not a power player he was just fucking hard and I started him from scratch."


  • Long live the lone Goblinoid!,

    "I'm installing fear back into the goblinoids again."


  • The attack cry of a dagger wielding psychopath, spoken more quickly than possible read,

    "doubledoubledoubledoubledoubledoubledoubledoubledoubledoubledouble doubledoubledoubledoubledouble"


  • Oh right that's what roleplaying's all about. An insightful piece of philsophy for all,

    "I don't come here to get hit by arrows I come here to fight"


  • When walking along some fallen trees, it's always good to remember to separate your character from reality,

    "Hey be careful"
    "Don't worry I'm a dexterous Woodelf........arghhhhhhhh"

  • Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm no thanks,

    "Come feel my blades"

  • You've got to try to mix in with the locals,

    "Kumpa tah? Speak elven?"

  • All bad guys love to boast so you've gotta try to weedle the scheme from them,

    "Erm, if you're planning to conquer the Western Realms and plummet it into a new age of fear and suffering, could you at least let the people know your demands. The people have a right to know! "

  • Don't say we're slow at this club but after just killing some dudes they start to get back up....

    "Where'd all those bodies come from?!"

  • Time for the Evil Dead

    "GET THEM OFF ME, GET THEM OFF ME!"

  • A Holdfast classic with delusions of Grandeur or is that froth?

    "Don't worry, they're only Gith"

 

Hmmmm apologises if you don't find this very amusing but it seemed a good idea at the time, but no matter there's heaps loads of more cool stuff on the Shadow Realms Website.


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Shadow Realms LRP 2000