Lady Trafarian Faces Financial Ruin The troubled Trafarian estate took yet another blow recently, the WRG can reveal. Bailiffs acting on behalf of Court served a warrant to the estate sometime in the last week, although precise dates are proving difficult to ascertain. It appears that Lady Trafarian is not in fact the owner of her late husband's estate. The warrant draws on a ruling dating back some 200 years, when a new class of noble was created to honour those that had gallantly served the Crown during the Siege of Vacarin. Plots of land were given to these newly created nobles with a clause involving the inheritance of these lands. In the event of the death of the owner of the estate, the estate will revert to the Crown unless there is a living child of the owner. This is the first time that this law has been drawn on, and some see it as either a visible sign of Court wishing to distance itself from the tarnished name of the Trafarian line, or an attempt by Thorak himself to take back land. This would aid the Crown in generating revenue for the rebuilding of the armies, still operating at low capacity following the aftermath of the Civil War. Whatever the reasons surrounding this, it is clear that it will have dire consequences for Lady Vionna Trafarian. The bulk of her income comes from goods produced on the estate, and it is believed that she may have as little as six weeks to prepare herself to leave her home. With no living relatives and very little capital not tied up with the estate it will be a very different life for the previously wealthy society hostess. When the Western Realms Gazette attempted to obtain an interview with representatives of the estate, they refused to comment. However, rumours of a celebrity banquet to be held by Lady Trafarian still persist. What she could have to celebrate remains unknown. On a further note, there is still confusion surrounding Lady Trafarian's confidante, Mr Rufus Wordmody who was reported to be in the vicinity of the Gith invasion discussing matters with Sir Eusarious Calidor. So far there is not yet a consensus of opinion as to whether he is dead or alive, and his whereabouts in either case. Could it be that he has been tainted by the curious curse that afflicts the Trafarian line? Lore Meravain

Haunted Holdfast In conjunction with strange stories surrounding the ruins of the old Holfast, it seems that the tales of mysterious shadowy figures and disappearances are also attributing themselves to the current Holdfast Inn. Recently patrons of the out of town Tavern have circulated stories of dark figures lurking in the fields and forest around the Inn's grounds. Furthermore there has been an increase in missing persons reports in that particular area. It is known by the Magical body that the Holdfast Tavern is built on prominent ley line which runs into the mysterious magical phenomenon, the Dell Gate. This fact could provide clues to the seeming bizarre occurrences that frequently happen in the vicinity. Professor of Thaumaturgy from the University of Drakeport, Hieronimus Silph has one such theory. He believes the convergence of the many ley lines into the Dell Gate creates a magical resonance, which is responsible for spontanteous acts of theurgy and the attraction of creatures of an arcane nature, such as spirits, elementals and infernals. However unless some one can actually prove that there is some dangerous presence acting on the Holdfast no official action will be taken. Caspian Klent

Night Shift at the Dellgate Graveyard Night shift took on a new meaning at the Dellgate Graveyard recently as despite reasonable security, grounds- keepers found a disquieting number of graves disturbed and lacking their contents. As to whether the corpses were dug up or their inhabitants clawed their own way back from the earth is unknown but attention has been directed towards the Necromantic War reported in our last edition. Scorched in the soil around the lot of graves, was discovered the exact same sigil recorded by myself and WRG visual impressionist Jolly Molson months back at the ruins of the old Holdfast Inn. This symbol was reported to have mysteriously vanished by the time the Militia made their way to the scene. For once the stretched authorities have taken the threat seriously and have placed Militia guards to watch the cemetery for any further occurrences. This incident comes just at the same time as reports of Drakeport citizens being attacked by undead within the city walls and the name of the Necromancer Kir is being whispered as the protagonist. Peregrim Bright

THE LAWS OF TODAY AND YOU BY EXECUTIONER LORD MASTER TZANG TONGU A section of legal notification of the vitalist importance for the well being of the community. This section must be read under the Legal Notices Act of 67 or failure to do so will result in the offender being reduced to peasant standing or turnip forfeiture if peasant standing already. Salutations once more and listen to the LAW for to do so will result in you staying alive, for if you cross the LAW you cross one of the most beautiful and powerful elemental forces governed by Serrin himself. Cross the LAW and retribution will be swift and brutal, for the LAW answers to none except itself and its agents which I, The Exulted Grand Executioner am foremost. After quite a commotion between the nobility and peasantry of late the legal problem I have been requested to inform you about is that of the relationship between nobility and their rights when dealing with the peasantry. The LAW looks upon the treatment of peasantry under the Social Betters Act of 04, as a means of settling a dispute between members of the higher classes and offending peasantry. In this particular case I focus as requested on the slurring of a noble's honour which would usually result in resolution via duelling. However, Section 34 of the Duelling Act of 08, forbids any beast, elemental, undead, transmutant, Mercian or goblinoid or any other being, force or entity that the Exulted Grand Executioner decrees as not falling within the class of noble from entering into a duel. If this happens then the offenders will be ritually tarred, feathered and placed within the carcass of a dead werebear for a period of not less than 12 years. The exact nature of the problem is when the killing of a peasant during a duel becomes unlawful. I am certain that if you are reading this you will have noticed a contradiction in the LAW. Section 34 states that it is an offence for a peasant to partake in a duel. To account for this Section 45 states that the dishonoured noble is in his rights to execute a peasant offender without the instigation of duelling protocol or etiquette, thus preventing the breach of Section 34 of the Duelling Act of 08. The problem that arises is if the offending member of the peasantry is under the charge of another member of the aristocracy. If so the noble is likely to be charged under the Destruction of Livestock and Holdings Act of 45 for Ruin of Stock. Therefore it is recognised that the Good Sportsman and Decent Gentry Act of 23 in conjunction with the Social Betters Act of 04 is used to govern such cases. I realise that this is probably a very difficult principle for you readers to understand, especially as The Legal Page refuses to print large, colourful pictures in order to keep your attention. Therefore I have researched an old case entitled La Brayoss v Pomme d'terre 945 which will hopefully guide you in the event that you accidentally offend and/or are challenged to a duel by a noble. In this case La Brayoss's peasant urinated upon a turnip field belonging to Arch Duke Pomme d'terre. One of the Arch Duke's peasants retaliated by throwing a large piece of human faeces at La Brayoss' wife. La Brayoss, stating that his honour had been besmirched, instantly cut down the offender who was still readjusting his briefs. While it was considered legal to dispatch the peasant in this way under the Social Betters Act of 04 it was La Brayoss' responsibility to compensate the Arch Duke for loss of stock thus contravening with the Sportsman and Decent Gentry Act. Utilising the Comparitive Vegetable Class Act of 45 which recognises under Section 256 that a vegetable's social standing is considered equal to peasantry, La Brayoss compensated Pome d'terre with a bail of wheat and a small sack of turnips. However Pome d'terre felt it beneath him to accept gifts from another member of the nobility as compensation for a mere peasant and therefore donated the offering to the Dellgate Orphanage for Peasants. This satisfied La Brayoss who had restored his family honour and gratified Pome d'terre who not only maintained face in accepting La Brayoss' compensation but also displayed benevolence and propriety in the eyes of his peers by donating La Brayoss' settlement to charity. Therefore in the eyes of the LAW both parties had been satisfied and there was no further need for dispute. This case shows the LAW student two things, firstly the rights of peasants when dealing with the nobility and secondly it demonstrates the actual worth of a peasant as being; a bail of wheat and small sack of turnips plus a substantial donation to charity. I will quickly summarise the important aspects of this case in regards to the reader. If challenged by a member of the nobility for besmirch of honour and you are deemed peasantry, you forfeit all rights and the noble may execute you in anyway they deem fit under the Social Betters Act of 04. However in accordance to this ruling they may not instigate or challenge you to a duel as this contravenes the Duelling Act of 08. Finally your value to the nobility is considered equal to a substantial donation to charity. So once again I have had to explain the LAW to under intelligent brutes so they can find meaning in their lives. Goodbye and remember - THE LAW IS ALWAYS WATCHING, ALWAYS KNOWING AND ALWAYS RIGHT.

The Rise, Fall and Rise Again of a Legend The Jimmi the Spoon story - WRG Exclusive CHAPTER TWO: THE WORGS It was November in the year of '68 that I made my first appearance for the Wolverton Worgs, at 17 I was the youngest player to earn a starting place in the Worgs line-up. Unfortunately my first match was cut short as I was sent off after ten minutes, for once this wasn't my fault, as I only had a basic grasp on the rules and so how was I to know that choke holds where illegal. I mean their thrower did wake up, so what if it was three hours after the match had finished. One good thing to come out of this was that I was given much more respect on the pitch and in the dressing room. After a fairly good season the Worgs missed out on a playoff place by 5 points, the exact number that we would have scored in our last match if our catcher hadn't fumbled the ball on the goal line. We started the '69 season with a new catcher and manager. At the time it was reported that the old catcher and manager were fed to our Worg mascot for good luck; these lies have never been proved. Whatever the reason we had a storming season and achieved a playoff place, but we were beaten by the Palace Guards. The '70 season was a disaster as the directors sold four of our best players to make enough money to build a better stadium, so we had the best stadium in the first division but one of the worst teams. The '71 season was my proudest, on my twenty first birthday I was awarded the captaincy of the Worgs, the youngest captain in history. I was also given more free reign on the pitch with the authority to pound on who ever I felt deserved it. We got a playoff place and were one game from achieving promotion when we were beaten by the Sinderland Sunz. I also achieved a record of the most injuries caused on an opposing team by one player after the final whistle, what can I say I lost my temper. That was my last season with the Worgs as the Ten Tavern Dragons bought me. I still see the old boys for a drink now and then and I try and follow their progress as best as I can. Even counting the success I've had with the Dragons I still count the years with the Worgs as the most enjoyable of my playing career. In the next issue of the western Realms Gazette the Spoon story will continue and Jimmi has promised us the truth surrounding the fatal squad of '84 who disappeared at the Holdfast Tavern on their way to the Trollball cup final.

continued from back page unbalanced, all defense no offense. Sinderland have the same problem all offense and no defense, this is shown by their slide down the table. Spewater have finally got their team of individuals to work as a team and have climbed to third position, their fans must be having nosebleeds being that high up. One team falling down the table faster than a weighed down Halfling are the Hohelm Hornets. What's their problem is anyone's guess especially as they have had such a good run in the Killogg's league cup. It's at this point I would like to apologise to the Dragons fans for some of the appalling Trollball that our team has been playing. Bear in mind the last five games have all been against top class opposition who are all displaying fine form. All I can say is keep the faith and wait and see what happens in the next few games. Oh yes and if that so called fan who turned up at the last game with a banner saying 'Sack the Spoon' makes a return appearance there will be trouble. In answer to some of your questions, we train five days a week. As a reply to the parents who think that their children have what it takes try this.. knock them out and time how long unaided it takes for them to come round. Any longer than three minutes and they're just too soft. If they do awaken quicker then bring 'em down to the Dragons' ground and I'll have a look. As for the buying of the thrower I mentioned last issue, it looks like the other team is pulling out of the deal, although I will continue to apply pressure in the hope of signing him. Well until next time get out there and Support your local team Western Realms Gazette Going somewhere dangerous? Want to get paid for it? Observers Wanted Become a WRG observer and get paid for doing nothing! No time wasters, Mercians or Elven Hooligans need apply. For further information contact the Western Realms Gazette Offices

Keeping up to date with all the latest Trollball action Spoon's Sermon Jimmi Speaks from the Dug Out Welcome Trollball fans, after the glowing response to my last report the editor of the gazette has agreed to keep me on, so from now on I will be providing an update on the world of Trollball and tagging on a few insider comments. A quick note on my last article, some people have said that my criticism of referees was directly responsible for the increase in referee assaults. Well as far as I'm concerned the referees don't need any help causing chaos and I DID NOT help Johan Gregson obtain the brutal mace that he used, with great effect I might add, to convince the referee that the sending off of his best player was a mistake. If anyone else has a problem with this write to the editor (ed- No please don't!) as I haven't the time to waste on girly elves who have nothing better to do than sit in their poncy gardens and write letters of complaint. Any way lets get down to business, its been around nine weeks since I last looked at the table and there has been a fair bit of movement. Teams Played Points Goal difference Valguard Victors 25 56 +26 Tannay Terrors 25 50 +10 Spewater Bludskulls 25 47 +17 Dellgate Destroyers 25 44 +17 Drakeport Demons 25 43 +12 Sinderland Sunz 25 39 +5 Vacarin Vipers 25 37 +7 Eversword Eagles 25 36 +7 The biggest surprise as far as I'm concerned is that the Victors have held on to the top spot. It just goes to show that their youth policy of sponsoring an orphanage has paid off by providing them with some top class players. Although I wonder what they do with all the orphans that don't make the grade, I heard something about a dungeon under their stadium where they are forced to make the replica costumes for the materialistic, glory hunting Valguard fans, but I'm rambling. So what has happened to Dellgate I think it's the age old problem which afflicts most teams in that their team is continued on inside back

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