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The Western Realms Gazette
Good Tavern Guide (part 2)
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It is with some trepidation that I supply the second part of this extravagant insight into the drinking establishments of Dellgate. The reason for this is that I alone was left to undertake this magnanimous task as my drinking partner, beverage connoisseur and social critic, Montgomery (Monty) Fitzwilliam-Murdoch was left indisposed.
As I led Monty to the door of the Leper's Bell he became extremely pale and mumbled something about 'kit' he had to make and left me to my own devices.
Anyway enough of the excuses, in part 2 we continue to experience Dellgate's Town's most distinguished taverns.
To visit the Leper's Bell you need a strong stomach because that's the one thing you can guarantee you won't be leaving with. Entry is simple providing you can negotiate your way over the drunks who lie slumped in the doorway and it is surprising how vomit can make such effective bouncers.
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The Leper's Bell
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must follow the traditions of the hostelry by forcibly ejecting my stomach from my body and launching it over tavern wall. As the rats and crones fought over lunch I managed to stumble past the hazy mounds in the doorway and collapsed in the street. Knowing I had survived the ordeal with some dignity allowed me to gather myself and stagger the streets towards the Silver Sword. It is my humble opinion that the Leper's Bell is not a tavern but a challenge for any new guild initiate or students. I have no compunction against offending any of the locals of the Leper's Bell as I sorely doubt they can read or understand Common. However if you can pluck enough courage to spend anytime in this tavern you will be treated to a cheap and pungent beer which may or may not be urine.
If you have the money the Silver Sword is a fine establishment, particularly patronised by some well-known adventurers, guild heads and academics. With a wide selection of beers they range in quality and are a little on the expensive side. Those who are not local to the establishment may find themselves derided and unable to fathom the mind games the clientele indulge in as guilds, churches and the aristocracy play politics.
In the third part of the Good Tavern Guide myself and with any luck Sir Fitzwilliam-Murdoch will take a look outside the walls of Dellgate at the great Tavern that rest on the outskirts of Dellgate.
Peregrim Bright
Next Issue
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The Silver Sword
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Archaeological Dig Begins Deep Within the Outlands 
Recently underway, fine teams of expert scholars are examining antediluvian structures and ancient ruins trying to draw clues to their origin. Plans to reconstruct these buildings have been put forward so that the scholars may gain further insight into the civilisation that once inhabited the domain. This amazing operation was initiated by learned antiquarian and explorer Sir Eusarious Calidor, who modestly claims it has all been made possible by a Scouting company headed by the Prospector who was responsible for the mapping and securing of the land. The territory in question was previously unattainable due to the intense goblinoid population but since the defeat of the Horde it has become accessible to skilful scouts. Unfortunately due to legal reasons we are unable to give away the location of this find. Talking to the Western Realms Gazette the demure noble explained how he came across such an amazing study, 'It was all quite by accident really and despite some other factors my fellows and I began to wonder where the goblinoid horde was massing from. Tribes filtered together like streams into rivers and one of these streams followed a path completely different to the general trend. We followed this path back and noted its relation to other important structures in the area. Another interesting point was that mages and officials were unaware the territory even existed. It was then I hired the Prospector to investigate and he brought back some intriguing reports.' Since that time Calidor has bought the land and has been slowly accumulating information on the area. With the aid of the Prospector and recently a valiant group of adventurers he has been able to send in a teams of scholars to begin working on the site. |
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The operation has been and still is fraught with danger due to the constant threat of goblinoid hostility. Therefore large numbers of mercenaries, guards and mages have been hired to protect the area from greenskin attacks and Sir Calidor is still looking for more protection from the goblinoid tribes and thieves who would try to steal from the site. With ownership of the land Sir Calidor and his employees have the legal right to defend it in any way he sees fit and reports indicate that some bloody skirmishing has already occurred. When we asked Calidor what was so special about the area the usually retiring noble sparked up, 'Well it's condition is impeccable compared to other relics from that estimated timeline. The nearest we can come close to is the Dell Gate situated at the Holdfast Tavern. Even now scholars have very little idea of who built the Dell Gate and how it is used but we're hoping that this new find will shed light on those details. We have also found symbols and designs that closely resemble common icons embedded in our current society and culture. If this continues to be true it could provide an understanding of our cultural origins.' According to the latest statement made by the archaeological team the ruins are understood to be of elven and/or dwarven craftmanship. Also the ancient symbols and design patterns which have sparked debate seem to have been crudely copied by the tribes inhabiting the territory with their own culture formed around the ruins. The territory is believed to stretch deeper into the forest and much of it is still to be discovered. Further structures and valuable relics are expected to be found and a permanent camp has been built to accommodate for the growing research team. Sir Calidor, historians and other leading antiquarians are lobbying Duke Nazgar to send men to clear the area of goblinoids. However with the Duke's coming offence any assistance seems unlikely. Peregrim Bright
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WRG wins compensation in legal battle
Due to the delaying of the Western Realms Gazette's last issue by a full month, it's owner Montgomery Fitz-William Murdoch consulted his legal representatives and fought a court battle against Mayotash Printers for loss of earnings.
Lore Meravain
The Dellgate Militia has tracked down the location of stolen artifice the Mithril Dragon, which was robbed from the caravan of murdered Merchant Baron Caspa Faragill. However it's location and the circumstances around it's discovery have led to strained relationships between the Human and Elven authorities. Elias Demarkus |
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BY EXECUTIONER LORD MASTER TZANG TONGU
Greetings avid readers to this new feature in the Realm's most popular periodical, and allow me the opportunity to introduce myself. My title is Executioner Lord Master Tzang Tongu and I am the Realm's foremost legal practitioner, a title which has cost me many a year of study and killing in order to obtain. However the benefits of this particular title mean that I am afforded the ability to advise upon, and enforce to its utmost degree, the LAW.
Due to the fact that this is my first feature and have therefore received no letters, I will explain some of the more common technicalities of the fair and just LAW of this land.
Firstly it has come to my attention |
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The Jimmi the Spoon story - WRG Exclusive
CHAPTER ONE: THE BEGINNING
It all started in the year of '68, I was a young idealistic orphan who had known hardship for most of my life, although the constant beatings I received as a child hardened me for what was to come. While watching the Wolverton Wargs my then local team I was first discovered during crunch time in the local derby with the West Albions, who were winning by three points. The ball fell near the sideline and on a sudden impulse (which I now believe to have been the fickle hand of fate, although it was in the form of my drunken friend Rouen), I jumped out of my seat grabbed the ball and ran for the touch line. After busting through a couple of tackles, (well they were elves. Always said they've got no backbone), I ran through to score a touchdown. Two things happened that day that had an effect on my career, the most obvious was that I had won the game for the Wargs and was immediately signed on by the manager as Jimmi Carbonari, (although what happened to the real Jimmi is something that is better left unrevealed. I also set the first two of my many records. The first was for the most points scored in a Wargs match ever and the second was the most yards run by a spectator in a Wargs match.
but now he's priced out of my range; shame that. As for the Dragons for this stage of the season we're doing well. We've got two games in hand of most of our rivals, and if and when we win these games we'll shoot into fifth spot putting us firmly back in the running for the title. On a personal note to all you Dragon fans keep turning up to support us, the noise helps us concentrate and remember your money goes to making our team the best in the league and we're guaranteed to win the after game fight if you bring weapons. On the transfer scene there have been some rumors that some of my stars are restless well let me put you straight, nobody leaves a team I manage unless I say so. NOBODY! On a happier note look out for a new catcher in the Dragons team list. Although I can't talk about it here I promise the fans they will be the first to hear the good news.
Well that's for this month, if you send in letters I will read them and answer any questions. Now before I get swamped with questions about the Holdfast incident buy the biography its all in there. |
Welcome to what I hope will be a regular page with my expert analysis on the goings on in the wonderful world of Trollball. Before I give you a rundown on the league positions I want to get something off my chest. The officials in this day and age are awful; there I have just voiced the opinion of every manager, even the Elven ones in the league. I mean the referee isn't supposed to protect the catchers and throwers that's the job of the defensive line, injuries are a part of the game. I know catchers will disagree but if they went on the pitch with a bit more protection especially around their pretty boy faces there wouldn't be half the knockouts there are now. But will anyone listen to me? NO! I'm only the manager, not some adoring female fan that wants to see his face. Okay on to the league. It has been quite a month with the teams moving up and down the table like they are being chased by the Horde.
Unsurprisingly Valguard are top of the table although the side that showed dominance last season looks jaded and in need of some fresh blood. Once again Dellgate have proven rock solid at the back, their high goal difference has more to do with the fact that when an attacker goes down in the Dellgate half it's usually with a dagger in his back. The surprise of the season so far is Sinderland, fourth in the table with 10 wins. They have achieved this through the prolific rate at which their star catcher Kelvin "the boot" Philipus has been running the ball over the line. If I'd known he was so good I would have poached him from that team of no hopers months ago, continued on inside back |
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